thought i been in the depth of giving up but you give me hope.

i was suprise that you actually can guess what’s on my mind and can see that i’m stress. i think you are one of the teacher that i can talk to the most.

thanks for everything mr jerel =)

mmt life’s is over

Today is my saddest day of my life which i never thought teacher would be say such a hurtful words to me, i really don’t know why is it wrong to be a multimedia student? as in this is all my past, right now i am in higher nitech does it still matter? i not sure why this teacer ever since the first day of school keep looking down on multimedia background student like all the thing they do is only for art and beauty nothing but craps which can’t be used, when i heard this today i was really very depressed.

Why must he keep saying to me that this subject nitech never teach you? or maybe the teacher don’t want to teach so much because nitech student also won’t understand one? i was quite pissed because he was indirectly saying it to me, at that moment i felt no sense of direction and my future are full of darkness.

I feel like telling him face to face that when the moment i choose to go this course i have prepare to start anew and forget the past and stop talking about how my life in the past are which you need to think if your words will hurt other feelings or not.

seriously i might really get depression any time, family issues, friends problem and school problems, i am not getting any attention from all the sides. now still need to do lky project which i unwilling to take part which i can’t reject at all!!, consider all those competition, oversea attachment we did wonder why we are still been treat like craps.

but i find it part of me have die today because teacher told me that “your design days are over” all i do was editing the portion that is important which my team member need to use on actionscripts and do you really need to say that? which is sad to say i have to give up the other part of me and move on with my life at that point i have say to myself i will not touch any design software ever again because my day’s are really over…

i wonder can i survive till march, i feel like quiting schoold at this moment because i felt that i am a weak person which has bad communication skill, detest by others and do not have the intialtive. I want to Quit School now!!!!
I HATE SCHOOL!

Just got a flu jab

Yesterday went to simei for my flu injection before flying off, phew guess i scare the shit out of everyone =P so sorry about it. haha because after my injection i almost fainted due to lack of low blood sugar because i didn’t have my breakfast and lunch, the injection was ok is just after that my vision felt weird all of a sudden luckily hui huang was beside me and helped me or else i think i really will faint without any supports.

At that moment i thought was drug allergy scare the hell outta everyone because i keep sweating like no one business and vision and voice are getting colourless and softer, i thought i was going to die. i think next time i’m going to be extra careful when come to this kinda scenario, i guess ns medical checkup i’m gonna bring some sweets and tell the medical officer about the situation.

one thing after another

Oh mannn is like one thing after another, i’m all stress out!!

i don’t think i can cope with the stress no more, just hope that no more projects flooding us anymore . i wonder did i make the wrong choice i simply just wanna complete my IAP module that’s all!

IAP

I know this is kinda random to me and i was totally can’t think properly right now, I have been drop out from netrider!!!! Yes that is the bad news and the good news is i have been chosen to go for overseas attachment!!

At the same time i have mixed feeling don’t really know what to do, since the company require people with HP-UX skills which i have only learn the basic not like kwun nam and hui huang which have learn the security level already. I felt that i am very weak at this point wonder can i make good use of the oppurtunity and not causes trouble for the company i hope i will not disappoint all the teacher  and the flight will be on next Thursday so rush >.<

Wonder what happen to me, suppose to be a good news but turn out to be very troubled by certain things…

“愿望”

真想忘记所有不开心的过去，好想抛弃的自我。

终是被亦忘的我，现在有个小小的原望。

“我希望有人会记得我的存在。”

但愿我可以改变自己，重生为新的 “Joseph”

我能忘记它吗？

what do human really wants?

Seriously i don’t understand what others think especially those that came out from army, why are you keep poking your nose into others business is not like they have insult you or something.

Wonder why classmate W likes to “care” about classmate R so often, is it just because you compare yourself base on GPA points which yours is higher than him? in that case i think you are damn childish it’s time to grow up BOY!!!

Especially today,such a simple thing can really piss you off?

Classmate W: Wah play facebook again ar, class test tml dun want study is it?

Classmate R: I play my business la, can always study at home.

Classmate W: You speak very kuai lan lei not happy is it?

Silent…………………………………………………

See? from the point of view you can see who is right and who is wrong isn’t it? plus classmate still can say in front of our group about this matter! I seriously think you should just MIND YOUR BUSINESS, we know you are VERY “Hardworking” you need not tell us about how good you are or even how diligent than anyone because this kinda thing is judge by others not yourself. FYI: class test tips i already say never mind you find your own first because I’m busy over the week ends why don’t you just open that damn book and go by your instinct of searching for those answer instead of keep asking me when I’m online?

And i really really hope that you could just stop minding classmate R business or even Better, STOP Talking to him! This way you don’t get pissed off for such a tiny winy matters and at the same time you can use those “spare” times to be “harworking & Diligent” Student” isn’t that more Efficient? =)

So Sorry that i have to say something so mean is just that i can’t stand people looking at others with this kinda way, Just like you think you are better but there are always someone better than you. so right now you are 20 plus i hope you can try putting yourself into others shoes and not putting them down their self esteem like in the Army enviroment, this is so silly.

Cheer Up my Best friend

haha i can’t seems to leave a comment in your comment box but anyways i will post it here so that you can see it from here.

“Just as i thought it is, you are happy on the outside but feeling horrible in the inside. but no matter what happen you can come to your closest friends always, no matter how busy they are they will find time to be there for you. This is what i see from my point of view.

I’m sure you have a few Closest friend around you and if you don’t mind i can also lent you my ears or my boney shoulders to cry on.”

Cheer up
Joseph

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Japanese Lesson in School

Nowadays having more things to do so kinda say that it could both good and bad news to me, the good news is that i can learn a new languages which is Japanese =) and the bad news is that i will need to sacrifice my time for elective lesson which i have missed out so many lessons altogether and can’t really catch up and finish my projects.

But overall this is my second lesson for the Japanese Lesson, my teacher is call mr goto which all of us call him goto sensei. He’s a very nice person because i was suprise that during break time he actually treat us beverage for all the student in the class which kinda shocking cause he may look strict at times which kinda different from the teacher in singapore, this is the first time i felt this kinda feeling could say that something like caring for a student.

So another 2 more lesson and that’s it for my Japanese Basic, right now can only speak and write in english character haha because it is still super hard to write in japanese which seems like alien character to me =P